T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)

Five Finger Exercises IV – V (1918)

IV. Lines to Ralph Hodgson Esqre
How delightful to meet Mr. Hodgson!
(Everyone wants to know him) –
With his musical sound
And his Baskerville Hound
 Which, just at a word from his master 
  Will follow you faster and faster 
  And tear you limb from limb. 
  How delightful to meet Mr. Hodgson! 
  Who is worshipped by all waitresses 
  ( They regard him as something apart) 
  While on his palate fine he presses 
  The juice of the gooseberry tart. 
  How delightful to meet Mr. Hodgson!

(Everyone wants to know him), 
  He has 999 canaries
And round his head finches and fairies 
  In jubilant rapture skim. 
  How delightful to meet Mr. Hodgson! 
 (Everyone wants to meet him).
V . Lines for Cuscuscaraway and Mirza Murad Ali Beg
How unpleasant to meet Mr. Eliot! 
  With his features of clerical cut, 
  And his brow so grim 
  And his mouth so prim 
  And his conversation, so nicely 
  Restricted to What Precisely 
  And If and Perhaps and But. 
  How unpleasant to meet Mr. Eliot! 
  With a bobtail cur
In a coat of fur
And a porpentine cat
And a wopsical hat:
How unpleasant to meet Mr. Eliot!
(Whether his mouth be open or shut).

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